Tag Archives: love

Breaking Up To Break It Down

September 15th, 2014

Overall when it comes to reading advice on being forever alone single, dealing with men and dating/relationship advice, it normally goes in one little drunken ear and out the other.

dont careWhich the fact that I don’t pay much attention to any of these is most likely my problem today.

im the only single im the only single2

I just prefer to let life be the real teacher. Nothing can teach you like the experience of your own. And from random conversations with that one aunt.

gtf over it and move onWhile being told that wearing more camisoles and brightly colored cardigans will make you appear more friendly and less intimidating to latch you a man are eyeroll worthy, the advice columns about break-ups are usually the ones that are the fucking worst. Sure, some can be inspiring or thought provoking, but then there are others that troll in with advice like:

EAT YOUR FEELINGS

TAKE MEDICATION

SPILL ALL THE DETAILS OF THE BREAK-UP

TAKE A SUPER WILD TRIP WITH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS

and the goddamn Nickelback worst:

GET UNDER A NEW GUY TO GET OVER THE OLD ONE

new mail4

Now, I almost wish that this person that recently made news read at LEAST that hot mess bundle of advice, because she clearly didn’t read the ones that were for sane people. Let’s just call her….Felicia.

ex bf calls

WTF

WHET

FELICIA. GURL.

That’s 121,669 shades of NO DAMN MA’AM. In a span of seven days.

You should call NO ONE 77,639 times in one week. NOT. ONE. SOUL. Not work related people, not your mama, not your amazing sibling, not Jake from State Farm, not your best friend from childhood, not Tyrone, not your fabulous friend that gets even more fabulous after they’ve have a few cocktails, not the pizza place, not even on Jesus. He has enough on his plate, sis.

jesusClearly you never read a break up tip post-it let alone an actual column, or owned an Beyonce‘ album, or had a heart to heart with someone or been forced to watch He’s Just Not That Into You with a girlfriend on a drunken Saturday night.

So, thanks for the inspiration on breaking this down, and this is for you Felicia.

Continue reading

Throwback Tales: Welcome To The Dark Side: Part 3

February 14th, 2014

From the start of what turned out to be a crazy ride into the world of online dating—from creeps to plain ole NOs to “Hell Night” with Zac Efron to the too much too soon headache that was wine guy, all seemed worth it in the end by the time I finally met my new friend in person.

We chose to meet up at a bar/dance hall where upon my arrival I was greeted with a huge hug and then taken by the hand to pay my entry in and then to the bar for a drink.swoonMy new friend was already established as a good looking guy from his profile and talking online, but none of that did him justice compared to what he was in person. From his Midwestern accent to his bright Hazel eyes to his quick wit responses and sense of humor that scarily seemed to match mine it was safe to say I was smitten kittens. Shit: I was becoming. THAT. GIRL.

After talking about each other’s week and a quick dance we then went to meet outside with the friends of my new friend, where I was jokingly introduced as his girlfriend. It was funny, hopefully one day reigning to be true, and cute—mostly because I knew he was joking. If someone like wine guy had did it, it would have been creepy because trust he’d mean every bit of that shit.

old creep stare

Continue reading

Peeve This: The Winter Edition

February 13th, 2014

It is clear that everyone has their fair share of pet peeves and last Fall I came to the realization that the list of things that annoy me is longer than I expected.

Just when you think you’ve reached your limit, some new trend or new annoyance twirls in….and that brings us to the part where we welcome Winter.

THE WEATHERpolar-vortexThis whole polar vortex malarkey has really been whipping everyone’s ass into shape this season.

snow dayThe freezing rain and high psychotic winds and snow was cute for about 10.5 minutes.

Continue reading

Throwback Tales: Welcome To The Dark Side: Part 2 1/2

January 23rd, 2014

Over the end of last summer, I decided to break out of my comfort zone and enter the world of online dating. After combing through what seemed like countless profiles of NOs and surviving a date with a guy that looked like Zac Efron that I will now only refer to as “Hell Night”, I took my exit upon the new adventure and somehow managed to still keep two potentials: my new friend and wine guy.

Although things with my new friend had stepped up via Facebook messages no move or other point of contact was made.

Meanwhile wine guy swooped in for the interest and insisted on seeing me again for a second date.im excited im excited2 Continue reading