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humor

Love & Relationships

Breaking Up To Break It Down

drake

Overall when it comes to reading advice on being forever alone single, dealing with men and dating/relationship advice, it normally goes in one little drunken ear and out the other.

dont careWhich the fact that I don’t pay much attention to any of these is most likely my problem today.

im the only single im the only single2

I just prefer to let life be the real teacher. Nothing can teach you like the experience of your own. And from random conversations with that one aunt.

gtf over it and move onWhile being told that wearing more camisoles and brightly colored cardigans will make you appear more friendly and less intimidating to latch you a man are eyeroll worthy, the advice columns about break-ups are usually the ones that are the fucking worst. Sure, some can be inspiring or thought provoking, but then there are others that troll in with advice like:

EAT YOUR FEELINGS

TAKE MEDICATION

SPILL ALL THE DETAILS OF THE BREAK-UP

TAKE A SUPER WILD TRIP WITH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS

and the goddamn Nickelback worst:

GET UNDER A NEW GUY TO GET OVER THE OLD ONE

new mail4

Now, I almost wish that this person that recently made news read at LEAST that hot mess bundle of advice, because she clearly didn’t read the ones that were for sane people. Let’s just call her….Felicia.

ex bf calls

WTF

WHET

FELICIA. GURL.

That’s 121,669 shades of NO DAMN MA’AM. In a span of seven days.

You should call NO ONE 77,639 times in one week. NOT. ONE. SOUL. Not work related people, not your mama, not your amazing sibling, not Jake from State Farm, not your best friend from childhood, not Tyrone, not your fabulous friend that gets even more fabulous after they’ve have a few cocktails, not the pizza place, not even on Jesus. He has enough on his plate, sis.

jesusClearly you never read a break up tip post-it let alone an actual column, or owned an Beyonce‘ album, or had a heart to heart with someone or been forced to watch He’s Just Not That Into You with a girlfriend on a drunken Saturday night.

So, thanks for the inspiration on breaking this down, and this is for you Felicia.

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Throwback Tales

Throwback Tales: 24hr Confessions of A Crazy Cat Lady

crazy-cat-lady

The pet debate on adding a little fur baby edition to my roof has been an ongoing scrimmage for a few years now.

Should I or shouldn’t I?

Shouldn’t I or should I?

Well, in the midst of summertime madness and most likely too much sunshine oozing into my brain cells, I’d decided that I definitely should take a jump into the kennel and become a pet mama….which only meant that naturally I’d live to regret that decision.

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Pop Culture 101

Twitter & Blue Ivy Saved Us All: The 2014 VMA Recap

twitter_logo

The MTV Video Music Awards are nowhere close to what they used to be. We know this. But every year we continue to watch and wait for at least one hair flipping glimmer of hope, and until then we turn to social media to help cope through it all.

If you experience in particular live Twitter, you must so during an awards show. There’s barely anything in this world better. Except for alcohol after a rough day. And day’s off.  Early pay day deposits. Seeing an ex doing bad without you.  A really good ass cheese platter. And an actual life.

Okay, so there’s a lot still greater but there’s no other way to spend the end of summer than wasting 3 hours to watch one of the most talked about events every year and The Beyonce’ concert VMAs was once again leaving topics, and tweets, up for discussion.

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Peeve This

Peeve This: The Summer Edition

happy

surprise b2surprise b3Hey. Remember that time I took a break for about a month and it was simply unacceptable?

Well, let’s not even discuss the highest level of unacceptable it is that the fact of my last real post was a little over THREE MONTHS AGO.

THREE. DAMN. MONTHS. That’s 90+ days. Even Michael Jackson released an album in the midst of my hiatus.

changes subjectThe only good thing is that there is lots to catch up on, lots to discuss and yes, lots to be peeved about.

Welcome to Peeve This: The Summer Edition.

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Love & Relationships Throwback Tales

Throwback Tales: Welcome To The Dark Side: Part 3

beyonce

From the start of what turned out to be a crazy ride into the world of online dating—from creeps to plain ole NOs to “Hell Night” with Zac Efron to the too much too soon headache that was wine guy, all seemed worth it in the end by the time I finally met my new friend in person.

We chose to meet up at a bar/dance hall where upon my arrival I was greeted with a huge hug and then taken by the hand to pay my entry in and then to the bar for a drink.swoonMy new friend was already established as a good looking guy from his profile and talking online, but none of that did him justice compared to what he was in person. From his Midwestern accent to his bright Hazel eyes to his quick wit responses and sense of humor that scarily seemed to match mine it was safe to say I was smitten kittens. Shit: I was becoming. THAT. GIRL.

After talking about each other’s week and a quick dance we then went to meet outside with the friends of my new friend, where I was jokingly introduced as his girlfriend. It was funny, hopefully one day reigning to be true, and cute—mostly because I knew he was joking. If someone like wine guy had did it, it would have been creepy because trust he’d mean every bit of that shit.

old creep stare

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