Browsing Tag

dating

LOVE + RELATIONSHIPS

F*ckboys: The Survival Guide

FBOYS

Cuffing Season is well under production and while some of us are boo’d up at least until the initial season of Westworld ends, the remainder of us are out here living the single life. And for most, it’s not that damn bad.

Your botched bangs are finally growing out.

Your skin is clearer than it’s ever been in months.

Your butt is something a peach wish it could make an emoji out of.

For the first time in a long, work makes sense and you’re completely focused on your career.

You’re closer than ever to the people who matter most and genuinely want the best.

Life. is. lit. Although lit is a term that could kind of go, but it just works.

Considering things are good and can’t go down faster than the upcoming state of America heels on New Year’s Eve, you’re okay with the idea of entertaining a companion of sorts. That is, until THEY arrive.

umm-text

That’s right–you know them, I know them, and we ALL hate them.

Fuckboys.

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HEALTH + FITNESS

If Britney Can Make It: Talking Mental Health

mental health

It was shortly after my 21st birthday and into the wee hours of the morning when it first happened.

Shooting to sit up straight in the center of my bed, suddenly I found myself overwhelmed with the sense of immense pressure pain that took over the left side of my chest and arm. The more I tried to figure out what was happening under the light of the red glow from my alarm clock that read 3:02AM, the harder it was for me to catch my breath.

Jesus, am I dying?? Falling under demon possession? It is technically “The Witching Hour“.

This is why you shouldn’t watch Horror films before bed, kids.

The only thing in that moment that made sense was to get up and begin pacing the room harder than James Brown at the Boston Garden. BIG mistake.

The feeling only intensified and left me running in blind panic to my grandfather’s room and announce that I was having a heart attack. Known to be slightly overdramatic  a little quick to conclusions at that age, my gramps decided to give me the benefit of the doubt. And a Bayer, because “that’s what people his age do” in moments of this crisis. Nothing. After ugly crying through describing more symptoms, I was then rushed to the hospital where after countless questions, breathing techniques and medication I learned I had a full-blown anxiety attack.

anxietyWhile majority of anxiety issues can be situational, the cause of my abrupt attack was similar and a slow build. I was coming up on the one year death anniversary of my grandmother who raised me, working in a toxic environment with even more toxic friends to match outside the workplace, under financial pressure to help with extended family and eating and drinking like garbage to cope with it all. Roll it up into one, big, ugly ball of panic and SURPRISE!

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LOVE + RELATIONSHIPS

Breaking Up To Break It Down

breaking up

Overall when it comes to reading advice on being forever alone single, dealing with men and dating/relationship advice, it normally goes in one little drunken ear and out the other.

dont careWhich the fact that I don’t pay much attention to any of these is most likely my problem today.

im the only single im the only single2

I just prefer to let life be the real teacher. Nothing can teach you like the experience of your own. And from random conversations with that one aunt.

gtf over it and move onWhile being told that wearing more camisoles and brightly colored cardigans will make you appear more friendly and less intimidating to latch you a man are eyeroll worthy, the advice columns about break-ups are usually the ones that are the fucking worst. Sure, some can be inspiring or thought provoking, but then there are others that troll in with advice like:

EAT YOUR FEELINGS

TAKE MEDICATION

SPILL ALL THE DETAILS OF THE BREAK-UP

TAKE A SUPER WILD TRIP WITH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS

and the goddamn Nickelback worst:

GET UNDER A NEW GUY TO GET OVER THE OLD ONE

new mail4

Now, I almost wish that this person that recently made news read at LEAST that hot mess bundle of advice, because she clearly didn’t read the ones that were for sane people. Let’s just call her….Felicia.

ex bf calls

WTF

WHET

FELICIA. GURL.

That’s 121,669 shades of NO DAMN MA’AM. In a span of seven days.

You should call NO ONE 77,639 times in one week. NOT. ONE. SOUL. Not work related people, not your mama, not your amazing sibling, not Jake from State Farm, not your best friend from childhood, not Tyrone, not your fabulous friend that gets even more fabulous after they’ve have a few cocktails, not the pizza place, not even on Jesus. He has enough on his plate, sis.

jesusClearly you never read a break up tip post-it let alone an actual column, or owned an Beyonce‘ album, or had a heart to heart with someone or been forced to watch He’s Just Not That Into You with a girlfriend on a drunken Saturday night.

So, thanks for the inspiration on breaking this down, and this is for you Felicia.

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PEEVE THIS

Peeve This: The Spring Edition

spring pet peeves

I think it’s safe to say that the time for my hiatus needs to and has come to an end. I’ve had enough of life’s busy schedule and unfortunately to the disappointment of my family and small gang of hopefully romantic friends it is not due to “having found a man”.

bitch get outAnd with the hiatus over I’m just in time considering last week marked the “first day” of Spring.

However it’s still cold as fuck outside.

That annoyance means it could only be time for a new edition of Peeve This: The Spring Edition.

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THROWBACK TALES

Throwback Tales: Welcome To The Dark Side: Part Three

online dating

From the start of what turned out to be a crazy ride into the world of online dating—from creeps to plain ole NOs to “Hell Night” with Zac Efron to the too much too soon headache that was wine guy, all seemed worth it in the end by the time I finally met my new friend in person.

We chose to meet up at a bar/dance hall where upon my arrival I was greeted with a huge hug and then taken by the hand to pay my entry in and then to the bar for a drink.swoonMy new friend was already established as a good looking guy from his profile and talking online, but none of that did him justice compared to what he was in person. From his Midwestern accent to his bright Hazel eyes to his quick wit responses and sense of humor that scarily seemed to match mine it was safe to say I was smitten kittens. Shit: I was becoming. THAT. GIRL.

After talking about each other’s week and a quick dance we then went to meet outside with the friends of my new friend, where I was jokingly introduced as his girlfriend. It was funny, hopefully one day reigning to be true, and cute—mostly because I knew he was joking. If someone like wine guy had did it, it would have been creepy because trust he’d mean every bit of that shit.

old creep stare

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PEEVE THIS

Peeve This: The Winter Edition

pet peeves

It is clear that everyone has their fair share of pet peeves and last Fall I came to the realization that the list of things that annoy me is longer than I expected.

Just when you think you’ve reached your limit, some new trend or new annoyance twirls in….and that brings us to the part where we welcome Winter.

THE WEATHER

This whole polar vortex malarkey has really been whipping everyone’s ass into shape this season. The freezing rain and high psychotic winds and snow was cute for about 10.5 minutes.

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THROWBACK TALES

Throwback Tales: Welcome To The Dark Side: Part Two 1/2

Over the end of last summer, I decided to break out of my comfort zone and enter the world of online dating. After combing through what seemed like countless profiles of NOs and surviving a date with a guy that looked like Zac Efron that I will now only refer to as “Hell Night”, I took my exit upon the new adventure and somehow managed to still keep two potentials: my new friend and wine guy.

Although things with my new friend had stepped up via Facebook messages no move or other point of contact was made.

Meanwhile wine guy swooped in for the interest and insisted on seeing me again for a second date.im excited im excited2 Continue Reading

THROWBACK TALES

Throwback Tales: Welcome To The Dark Side: Part Two

online dating

So a few weeks ago, I began to share the time of this past summer when I gave into the thought of trying online dating.

Almost a full week into it I’d ran across some party boys, a guy I used to be involved with, a guy who claimed I was his new B.F.F., a guy that looked like Glenn Close, guys who clearly weren’t schooled on proper pictures to use for a dating site (like really who are the chicks in your photo, sir) and a few other bunches of HELL NO.

lesbianRight when I was ready to back out of my decision of joining this online catastrophe I ended up connecting and chatting with a guy that had a mutual friend in common with me. My new friend was funny, sweet, never ran out of things to talk about with me and I genuinely began to look forward to hopping on and learning more about him and he seemed to feel the same. Could it be…..my luck was changing?!

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