Vodka + Cupcakes http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com Making Sense of Life One Post at a Time Thu, 24 Nov 2016 17:22:58 +0000 en-US hourly 1 75830391 We Need To Talk About Kanye http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/need-talk-kanye/ http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/need-talk-kanye/#respond Wed, 23 Nov 2016 10:31:19 +0000 http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/?p=6496 Okay, considering all the press he’s been getting this week alone, we really don’t NEED to. But we should. So we are. For the clueless, the rapper most of us hate to love has been on some serious shenanigans as of late while on tour, from announcing he didn’t vote but if he did…it would have been for Trump to storming offstage to rambling frustrations at Jay-Z and Beyonce’ for not calling him enough, winning VMAs without him and not bringing Blue Ivy to play over at the Kardashian household. Kanye is like that unpredictable cousin that talks too much that’s super talented and you want to see do well in life, because you know he can. As the list of Hashtag Too Much continued to grow, the charades came to a screeching halt this week as after cancelling the remainder of his tour, and Kanye West was hospitalized for […]

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Okay, considering all the press he’s been getting this week alone, we really don’t NEED to. But we should.

So we are.

For the clueless, the rapper most of us hate to love has been on some serious shenanigans as of late while on tour, from announcing he didn’t vote but if he did…it would have been for Trump to storming offstage to rambling frustrations at Jay-Z and Beyonce’ for not calling him enough, winning VMAs without him and not bringing Blue Ivy to play over at the Kardashian household.

blue-ivy-vma

Girlfriend, please.

Kanye is like that unpredictable cousin that talks too much that’s super talented and you want to see do well in life, because you know he can. As the list of Hashtag Too Much continued to grow, the charades came to a screeching halt this week as after cancelling the remainder of his tour, and Kanye West was hospitalized for a “psychiatric emergency“.

Anyone following West’s career from the beginning knows it’s been an interesting one. From his breakthrough after surviving a damaging car wreck, his thought provoking albums, his marriage, his stage appearances, to of course, the loss of his mother 9 years ago this November. Which honestly, is when the world begin to see a very different version of Kanye West.

Death is complicated. And of course to one never experiencing that on various levels, it’s difficult to truly explain.

Thinking about it on the surface, it’s like Why?. When you die, it’s over. Done. Fineto. However, it’s in afterlife when the ones surrounding are left living to deal. You don’t realize the impact you left on someone until you are gone.
And we all deal differently. Some cry, some don’t. Some stay busy and get their best work done, some don’t do anything for some time. Some obsess over it. Some don’t deal with it at all for time to follow. Some do all of the above.
We pretend we are 100% okay because it’s the “normal” thing to do, not wanting to seem depressed or a Donald Downer in front of everyone all time. It’s been three years already, I shouldn’t be talking about this anymore. They’re not coming back so I need to get over it.

But you never do. You just live, the best you know how–and hope somewhere, that one you miss is watching and is proud.

And in the struggle for sanity, something triggers the floodgates. It could be another loss or the threat of losing another someone or something; or something as simple as having a drink or absolutely nothing at all. You just snap. You become self-destructive, lash out at the closest people in vicinity, and basically just act your fucking worst. You become labeled as “crazy”, because from an outsider’s perspective that’s what you are. You’re not the cherished grandchild, offspring, friend, lover of the one you lost that’s hurting and feeling completely clueless in an unfair world that’s forced to live without them–you’re “crazy”.
To the outsider, they don’t understand. To move on your own for the first time and to unpack alone in tears because you know if that person was still around, they’d be there in full force–more excited than you and bustling about telling you where the family photos would look best. To fall in love, and wanting to get their opinion about them, because you know they will. To get exciting news and wanting to pick up the phone and share all the while holding it away from your face cause their loud shouts of happiness is about to wake up all of the city. To get your heart sincerely broken ten directions from Spain and wanting to see the one you loss’ face one last time so they can look you square in the eyes and remind you who the hell you are and to pick yourself up.
The outsider doesn’t get it. And you almost hope they never do. It’s never an easy road traveled, and one a few never come back from.

The first step never stops being admitting an issue, and addressing it accordingly.

Rest easy, Kanye.

Having lost Prince and Bowie in the same year, we need all the talented artists we can get…and not be left forever with the rest of this mess.

wh

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The Moonlight Affect http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/the-moonlight-affect/ http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/the-moonlight-affect/#respond Tue, 22 Nov 2016 08:00:51 +0000 http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/?p=6417 I live for Film. As long as I’ve been alive and can remember, I always have. Growing up in a household with an alcoholic mother and an abusive step-father, it was one of my only escapes from the real world outside of a pen, notepad and playing dolls. I held on so much to all the fantasy world I could I didn’t stop playing dolls until I was about 16–the diving into a different world via writing never ceased. Clearly. I didn’t know the term, but I knew early on both of my parents were alcoholics. If it wasn’t for alcohol, they may have never even met. If it wasn’t for alcohol, my father would probably still be alive. My father, also a businessman, workaholic and one of the boldest humans I knew next to my mother. I, for sure have some of his temperament and a lot of his […]

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arketing-101

I live for Film. As long as I’ve been alive and can remember, I always have. Growing up in a household with an alcoholic mother and an abusive step-father, it was one of my only escapes from the real world outside of a pen, notepad and playing dolls. I held on so much to all the fantasy world I could I didn’t stop playing dolls until I was about 16–the diving into a different world via writing never ceased. Clearly.

I didn’t know the term, but I knew early on both of my parents were alcoholics. If it wasn’t for alcohol, they may have never even met. If it wasn’t for alcohol, my father would probably still be alive. My father, also a businessman, workaholic and one of the boldest humans I knew next to my mother. I, for sure have some of his temperament and a lot of his mother’s looks–he caught me once as a child trying to steal her picture for my scrapbook out of his office. He never introduced me to his side of the family and although he never hid the truth I was his only child–most of my interactions with him felt like business than personal with only monetary support.  Beggars can’t be choosers, right? I didn’t genuinely feel  my father loved me until my high school graduation when he dragged himself out of bed on crutches to walk the endless pavilion just to see me graduate. What he lacked overall in family skills and the absence of his own, my mother’s parents made up for ten times over. I was seven when they moved me in with them and away from the chaos I currently knew under the roof with my mother.

My grandparents are the strongest people I know. They’re survivors, hard working and where I get my love of story telling from. You could listen to my 6’8 grandfather talk all day and my 5’2 grandmother was so loud you had no choice but to listen. They never understood my need to be creative, but they always supported down to just placing empty notebooks they found on sale on my bed. My grandmother got so curious to what I was doing with them one day she read some pieces and was honestly upset at the raw tone, but admittedly enjoyed. Our home was forever a place of realness, laughter and love. Being the new kid at 4th elementary school before second grade’s end, was not. My god-sister being the only familiar face I knew made it clear early on she was going to be everything but my friend, and thanks to her lead other kids followed suit–at school and in church, where she also attended. It wasn’t until a year later the quiet girl who always had her head in books and “the crackhead mother” punched a mouthy bully who got handsy is when it stopped. I was sent to the principal’s office, she was sent to the nurse and never bothered me again.

Friendship got easy after that. Too easy.  As a child, learning the best friend term you start handing it out like business cards. How great is it to have best friends, you take the term and want to run across mountaintops with it–until you fall off. Usually because you were pushed. It’s a term that grew to churn my stomach at times throughout the years. You put your hand on the stove a few times, eventually you get tired of getting burned. You grow tired of opening up to anyone new, and get drawn to the family that never changed faces. And maybe your true friends lie within yourself and your art, the sole company that never truly goes away or betrays you. I was never THE house to go to for sleepovers or invited much to ones, so naturally writing became my best friend. I was extremely shy around new people and couldn’t relate in group discussions to family vacation stories besides riding to visit my mother in prison, which I didn’t share for obvious reasons. I didn’t think drugs were fun or cool after my cousin and I were left at nine with my aunt’s boyfriend watching him shoot up heroin unbeknownst we were watching, and I knew nothing about boys. I liked them, but I wasn’t high or anywhere spotted, rather, on their radar.

I say all uncomfortable stuff to say I saw Moonlight this past weekend, and it really got me thinking. For those of you unfamiliar, Moonlight tells the story of a young Chiron growing up in the rough streets of Miami and follows him as he transitions to a young man in Georgia figuring himself out in the world. You watch as the adults, the peers, the isolation, the lessons and lack there of  shape him from a boy to adulthood. The powerful drama, beautifully acted by the cast and told by writer/director Barry Jenkins leaves an endless imprint on you in so many ways. The biggest reflection is who are we and why are we who we are? Who and what caused us in our adolescence to be so guarded, so affectionate, so prideful or full of shame? Chasing people and things we know aren’t right for us but it’s all we saw in life to live or quick to raise hands because we’ve been fighting our entire existence. How do we come to terms and understand the winding layout that outlined us?

I encourage everyone with a passion for film and reality of life to see this one, for it’ll have your mind absolutely blown and meditating on the humans and moments that brought you to where you are today.

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F*ckboys: The Survival Guide http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/fckboys-survival-guide/ http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/fckboys-survival-guide/#comments Mon, 21 Nov 2016 10:00:57 +0000 http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/?p=5872 Cuffing Season is well under production and while some of us are boo’d up at least until the initial season of Westworld ends, the remainder of us are out here living the single life. And for most, it’s not that damn bad. Your botched bangs are finally growing out. Your skin is clearer than it’s ever been in months. Your butt is something a peach wish it could make an emoji out of. For the first time in a long, work makes sense and you’re completely focused on your career. You’re closer than ever to the people who matter most and genuinely want the best. Life. is. lit. Although lit is a term that could kind of go, but it just works. Considering things are good and can’t go down faster than the upcoming state of America heels on New Year’s Eve, you’re okay with the idea of entertaining a companion of […]

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FBOYS

Cuffing Season is well under production and while some of us are boo’d up at least until the initial season of Westworld ends, the remainder of us are out here living the single life. And for most, it’s not that damn bad.

Your botched bangs are finally growing out.

Your skin is clearer than it’s ever been in months.

Your butt is something a peach wish it could make an emoji out of.

For the first time in a long, work makes sense and you’re completely focused on your career.

You’re closer than ever to the people who matter most and genuinely want the best.

Life. is. lit. Although lit is a term that could kind of go, but it just works.

Considering things are good and can’t go down faster than the upcoming state of America heels on New Year’s Eve, you’re okay with the idea of entertaining a companion of sorts. That is, until THEY arrive.

umm-text

That’s right–you know them, I know them, and we ALL hate them.

Fuckboys.

Fuckboy (n).

The worst kind of guy. Not looking for anything serious but seeking “something new and refreshing” when they already look tired as hell and wanting all the benefits of a relationship. Someone who will take away your time and your soul, and usually ask for pics along the way. Someone who doesn’t want a serious relationship anymore to “focus on other things (usually work)”, only to end up in a serious relationship with a basic bikini mess. 

wtf-is-that

And my favorite,

The fuckiest of fucks.

While there are a sleuth of definitions that all sum up to SCREW NIKE, DON’T DO IT, it can get a little confusing at times as to whether or not a fuckboy is trolling your existence. So let’s break this down, shall we?

ANYONE TINDER/GRINDR/ANYTHING APPLICATION ACCESSIBLE

If you’re logging in on this expecting to find your Romeo, 99.6678% of that hope is going to be a hell nawl.

There won’t be a match that will kill himself for the consumption of living without your precious love, but there will be a few who seem as if they will just flat-out kill your ass.

seducing

That could be a sexual sense, as well.

Because definitely there will be plenty who will want inside your pearly gates.

tinder message

Some will get creative about it:

tinder message

Some will make no sense at all:

tinder message

Some will skip right to the meat and potatoes and waste no time at all–I once had a friend who received a message:

Hey. Looking for someone to come over on my lunch break and pound me out. Interested?

Whatever happened to some Brisk iced tea and a Monte Cristo for lunch? I barely have time to run to the bank on my lunch break, let alone get some play play in. Pass.

Granted that they in the beginning come correct and succeed to the next round aka meeting in person, dealing with anything online obvious be smart about it. Meet in well-lit (not lit like your life–but well-lighted, hard to be murdered in a crowded space lit) areas, keep homegirls on standby, have an escape plan and expect some bullshit.

tinder text

Is standing outside any different from standing inside?

NOAP

NOAP

Now, you could be pleasantly surprised in the opposite direction, just don’t get your hopes up.

bye-boy-bye

THE MUSICIAN

The majority of their social media interaction following looks like the Rock of Love rejected cast and they’re still holding on to fame from that hit single two strong years ago. Their entire existence is on Snapchat and you’re positive they own more selfies than sense. While their golden years are over they still feel and act as though everything with a vagina is supposed to come and drop all of Victoria’s Secrets.

delusional

Not all creative artists are like this, but if these symptoms are ringing bells:

Run, i.e. in the opposite direction.

THE WALKING DEAD

Fuckboys are an epidemic year round, but something about this season that brings them out in forces. The weather is dropping, the fires are popping, the winter cocktails are flowing and everyone wants to snuggle under the mistletoe with that Mariah Carey on volume maximum. INCLUDING the guy you haven’t heard from since March, popping up suddenly to ask how your week has been. In November. The guy you haven’t heard from since March.

Fucking. March.

i-cant-read-idk

Considering he completely went Casper in your inbox, you’ve assumed he’s been deceased this entire time.

That’s like 70 weeks, countless celebrity deaths, a new President and 18 Kanye rants that have happened between then and now, and the best he can do is ask about the last seven days? Ditch Samara from The Ring and pass.

THE EX, of course

What would the season be without a “Happy Holidays” or “Hope all is well” from the one who sadly almost destroyed all of your well-being. Or worse: the “You look great”s.

text

go-fuck-yourself

Took time out of their “happy life” to screenshot YOUR photos and open up dialogue open them. Do we have to go into further explanation as to why these photo bandits need to be steered clear of farther than a Popeye’s that’s always out of Spicy chicken? PASS.

Exes are usually so for a reason.

Particularly, if they left you high and dry to pick up all the broken pieces while they were tearing it up at the Vance Joy show and enjoying life–do you really want to let this person back into what you’ve rebuilt? You’ve come too far to go back, and them giving you isolation was the best gift they’ve ever could have given because it only made you stronger.

Let it go and let them terrorize the next victim(s).

Good luck.

Good luck.

You look better cause you sleep better when you know no one is out cheating on you.

THE FORMER 

They’ve played the games. Quite a bit of them, and left a lot of victims in the process. Somewhere along the way, they’ve realized the error in their ways and have come full circle to wanting to start in a better relationship state. Is it worth the risk? That’s only a question one could answer within oneself, and sure to proceed with caution. With that as well, honesty is a big commendable step and to be kept in mind everyone has a past some of us actually learned for the better. If their actions match their words, it may be worth the gamble.

THE ONE YOU’RE NOT SURE ABOUT

When you’re together, you’re TOGETHER–and it’s great. They’re fun, can form intellectual conversations, have all their teeth and chemistry is popping. But….when you’re not together, you have questions because you’re a borderline psycho with trust issues some things don’t add all the way up, and although you’re kind of shitty in math: 1+1 is for sure 2. You don’t always know how to read them and they don’t seem like the typical type, but there is fuckboy potential.

If communication doesn’t match the rest of the seemingly great package, use your context clues and make the judgement best for you. A.K.A, running.

bye-boy

We’ll dive more into this in another post for another date.

Until then, stay safe this season.

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW ARE DATING A FUCKBOY PLEASE DIAL 1-800-DITCH-THAT-FOOL.

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If Britney Can Make It: Talking Mental Health http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/britney-can-make-it/ http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/britney-can-make-it/#respond Mon, 10 Oct 2016 10:15:06 +0000 http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/?p=5491 It was shortly after my 21st birthday and into the wee hours of the morning when it first happened. Shooting to sit up straight in the center of my bed, suddenly I found myself overwhelmed with the sense of immense pressure pain that took over the left side of my chest and arm. The more I tried to figure out what was happening under the light of the red glow from my alarm clock that read 3:02AM, the harder it was for me to catch my breath. Jesus, am I dying?? Falling under demon possession? It is technically “The Witching Hour“. This is why you shouldn’t watch Horror films before bed, kids. The only thing in that moment that made sense was to get up and begin pacing the room harder than James Brown at the Boston Garden. BIG mistake. The feeling only intensified and left me running in blind panic […]

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mental health

It was shortly after my 21st birthday and into the wee hours of the morning when it first happened.

Shooting to sit up straight in the center of my bed, suddenly I found myself overwhelmed with the sense of immense pressure pain that took over the left side of my chest and arm. The more I tried to figure out what was happening under the light of the red glow from my alarm clock that read 3:02AM, the harder it was for me to catch my breath.

Jesus, am I dying?? Falling under demon possession? It is technically “The Witching Hour“.

This is why you shouldn’t watch Horror films before bed, kids.

The only thing in that moment that made sense was to get up and begin pacing the room harder than James Brown at the Boston Garden. BIG mistake.

The feeling only intensified and left me running in blind panic to my grandfather’s room and announce that I was having a heart attack. Known to be slightly overdramatic  a little quick to conclusions at that age, my gramps decided to give me the benefit of the doubt. And a Bayer, because “that’s what people his age do” in moments of this crisis. Nothing. After ugly crying through describing more symptoms, I was then rushed to the hospital where after countless questions, breathing techniques and medication I learned I had a full-blown anxiety attack.

anxietyWhile majority of anxiety issues can be situational, the cause of my abrupt attack was similar and a slow build. I was coming up on the one year death anniversary of my grandmother who raised me, working in a toxic environment with even more toxic friends to match outside the workplace, under financial pressure to help with extended family and eating and drinking like garbage to cope with it all. Roll it up into one, big, ugly ball of panic and SURPRISE!

why-anxietywhy-anxiety2

You feel the worst. You think the worst. And you are, well: at your worst. My occasional outbursts prior to this night began to make more sense. Being released from my discovery at the hospital, I was sent home with fresh papers and a prescription for anxiety medication. All should have been right in the land of medicinal world but I soon went from normal to girl, interrupted to Stepford wife realness. My wanted schedule consisted of sleep, sleep, and more sleep. I couldn’t carry on a conversation and didn’t care on doing so. This immediate effect went on for a little over a month before it was decided after consulting my doctor this medication wasn’t for me and eventually just to deal with things the best to my natural abilities before taking other prescription measures.

After making adjustments to my friends, my work, my health, and being open to the idea of therapy my anxiety overall took a backseat in my life where that bitch belonged and all was okay in my mental world.

peaking

ANXIETY BE LIKE….

Craziest thing about anxiety is that is never truly goes away and sometimes like to bring its’ friend along, depression. Affecting over 350 MILLION worldwide, it could be anything to trigger this companion. Loss of a passion. Loss of a loved one. Loss of a relationship. Loss of job. In my case, it was a pinch of everything but sugar and spice. Sometimes, it could be nothing wrong at all from the outside. We humans are made up of so many chemicals and beings our bodies more times than not are a mystery and at moments are worst enemies. And when it comes down to this, things can get crippling and downright scary. Where do you turn when the source of the problem is in your own head? Whatever the source, it’s never one to be ignored and severely dangerous. This year alone, the suicide rate is at its’ highest it’s been in 30 years.

SEEK HELP

It’s not just cheesy lyrics to some 80s teamwork song, communication literally makes the world go round. And the start to everything. Get out and talk to someone–whether it’s your doctor, a friend, a family member, a therapist, the nice lady at the Popeye’s window, or even a complete stranger. Opening up to someone you don’t know in everyday life about your thoughts and feelings are sometimes easier, and lifelines like the National Suicide Prevention (1-800-273-8255) are open 24/7 and free. However, not always easy to get a hold right away. Thankfully, most states have local crisis lines available that are less congested and hold support meetings in the area if needed.

 YOU FEEL ANYTHING BUT, UNDERSTAND YOUR NORMAL

Agreeing to take medication to help deal with anxiety and/or depression or both makes you none the less fabulous than the rest. If anything, it makes you real, And honorable, for knowing there is a problem and to get help accordingly. Finding the right prescription can initially be trial and error, but crucial. Personally coming from an African-American household, mental disorders aren’t a thing that’s openly addressed or supported outside “just praying about it” and giving it to religion.

You are not crazy, weak, or going against anyone for deciding otherwise.

   TURN DISORDER INTO TRIUMPH

Medication or not, taking the driver’s seat of your situation is key. Assess the cause of the issue and adjust accordingly. Toxic friends that are terrible more than a treat? Bye Felicia. More eye rolls than the zeros on your check of workplace you feel miserable at? Time to get on the job hunt.

And the primary key to feeling good on the outside? Feeling great on the inside. Join a fitness club. Go for more runs and watch the sunset. Eat more green things and less sugar. Have regular chats with someone wiser than you. Hell in the era of YouTube, even WATCH regular chats with someone wiser than you. Changing up your routine will do wonders for your mindset.

All in all, no situation is forever. Bad times don’t last, and they’ll always undermine to the good ones. And yes, it does get better. Anxiety/Depression don’t go away but they’re controllable in more ways than one and at the end of the day, you hold the power to how it’s going to go.

And remember: If Britney can make it through her worst, so can you.

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Living It Up Like Gloria Gaynor: Surviving A Layoff http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/living-like-gloria-gaynor-surviving-layoff/ http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/living-like-gloria-gaynor-surviving-layoff/#comments Tue, 26 Jul 2016 08:55:50 +0000 http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/?p=6083 So, regardless of what slice of the universe you are currently living in, by this point you are on high alert that the world is one giant cluster and more chaos going on than a Limp Bizkit record. With so much real happening, one reality many are living is that of unemployment and the increasing case of job layoffs, currently at a mature 4.9 percent, according to the U.S Bureau of Labor Statistics, at its’ highest in the last 7 years as of July 2016. The struggle is legitimate. Unfortunately, if you know someone who has become an inhaling statistic or equally worse, have become one yourself, then the following guidelines are a probable necessity. KEEP YOUR COOL The ultimate cliché’, and the crucial must. Upon being served your horrid shade of pink slip papers it’s imperative to remain calm and bow out with such grace Audrey Hepburn would be satisfied. Now is […]

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surviving layoff

So, regardless of what slice of the universe you are currently living in, by this point you are on high alert that the world is one giant cluster and more chaos going on than a Limp Bizkit record.

With so much real happening, one reality many are living is that of unemployment and the increasing case of job layoffs, currently at a mature 4.9 percent, according to the U.S Bureau of Labor Statistics, at its’ highest in the last 7 years as of July 2016.

computer news

The struggle is legitimate.

Unfortunately, if you know someone who has become an inhaling statistic or equally worse, have become one yourself, then the following guidelines are a probable necessity.

KEEP YOUR COOL

The ultimate cliché’, and the crucial must. Upon being served your horrid shade of pink slip papers it’s imperative to remain calm and bow out with such grace Audrey Hepburn would be satisfied. Now is not the time to act a fool with your trusted superiors or finally shout Pamela in Accounting ain’t worth shit from the day she stepped those tired kitten heels onto the 5th floor. arrest me IDGAF

Regardless of actually wanting to step a foot back into your now former place of employment or not, it’s best to exit on fair terms and keep that door open.

KNOW YOUR BENEFITS AND YOUR BENJAMINS

The easiest way to explain a layoff process is somewhat similar to a game show–a shitty one, but a game show nonetheless. You, of course, are the winning contestant, and are treated to your grand prize–your “thanks for playing with us” package–which, depending how long you’ve permanently (key factor) been with your employer, can be quite beneficial. Read all in detail, and never be afraid to negotiate.

NOW, WHAT?!

Do you qualify for unemployment? And if so, for how long? Should you start making custom-made cardboard signs and hit the highways?  Hit the pole? Hop on the first ‘Now Hiring’ sign in your neighborhood? All jokes aside, you’re a fresh fish out of water so start brainstorming your options and a plan.

SLEEP

No, seriously. A loss such as a layoff is a lot to take in, so take a nap. Hell, take two. Work and life in general can be draining and sometimes it’s good to catch some zzz’s and recharge.

TRIP OUT

Remember those times where you said “If only I had more time…” or “I wish I had just A day longer”, well now you do. That city you’ve been wanting to visit for as long as your debit card can suffer is now yours for the booking and can now get some crossings off your Pinterest bucket list. Or keep it frugal and simply go for a drive down to the beach or somewhere uncharted for the day and clear your head.

BE WISE

And who said all those chapters you learned in Economics wouldn’t come in handy one day? Whether you are high tailing it to Hawaii or cruising to a local lake up the highway, still be cautious of your coins, especially if you’re choosing the course of taking some extended time off. Just because your departed job broke you off with a few dollars is no reason to storm out spending Kevin McCallister style.

ball so hard

DO YOUR DAMN LAUNDRY

You won’t make eye contact, but you know it’s there. Sitting. Waiting. No, I’m not talking about those forgotten free weights you bought to start your Tone it Up squat regime, I’m talking about those other forgotten friends: your laundry. Stack up ’em up, and knock them down. Sort, rinse, dry, and repeat until that floor is a home for a Mr. Clean ad. And while the roll is on, start on the rest of the house to de-clutter and reorganize. A clean house aids a clean mind.

FITNESS UP

Speaking of those free weights, now is the time to put those to use. Schedule in a simple workout routine, or pick out one that’s more of a challenge. Take a training class. Go for a run. Hell, get jacked for no reason. It’s hard to be upset about life when you have six-pack abs.

PIMP YOUR RESUME

With your newfound release, take the time to sit down and go over your most recent resume, and adjust accordingly. Refresh recent employment, detail job role description, and update skills, key terms and extended education. Officially being back on the market and in the hunt your most powerful weapon needs to be ready.

STAY BUSY

While watching Piper become more increasingly annoying on Orange is The New Black as well as catching up on your other shows is acceptable, it’s critical to not get too involved into the little black box and/or computer screen. Or your phone, put that down. Yes, you.

Working on your fitness is great but the key to everything is working on your mind, and keeping it as active as possible. Keep a schedule just as you would like a fitness routine; and get out for some fresh air or environment to keep from getting stir box crazy. Read something you’ve never read before, like a new genre. Write more, set a word goal DAILY. Conquer a fear. Pick up an old passion like piano or painting or finally pick back up that Spanish guide you’ve been avoiding. Take some classes, and even better remotely with sites like Skillshare that literally have almost anything your little mind may want to know or perfect. Start a project with your experience, just for practice and fun.

bored work powerpoint

Slide show messes aside, keep busy. The worst thing one can do is become complacent with their declined situation and become comfortable. Continue to shake things up, and never feel sorry.

SPEND IT

When you’re not using time to excel at crafts, it’s still wise to watch how you spend it. Spend it with those family or friends that only will encourage and build you up, and not bring drama or negative feelings into your already fragile state. That’s not cute.

not here for this person

Most of all, invest in yourself. Do your own hair, nails, facials, whatever it is find out the products and tools and get to work. One time splurge is extremely less costly than the monthly or weekly comparative of paying another human to do what you surprisingly may be able to do even better.

THE REROUTE

Every situation, in particular the “bad” ones, has a silver lining. Sometimes you just had to squint REALLY hard to find it. Really hard. The universe happens for reasoning and eventually you will find out why, but only if you do your part. In junction with your fancy new resume, sum up where and what exactly you want to do and get to sending. Schedule out time daily to see what’s out there and go big; even sit down to go over resume again and make sure there are no grammatical or structure errors holding you back. Find tutorials on interview tips, network your butt off, and even freelance if available.

And most important, don’t quit.

You’ll be back and without a doubt due to practical downtime, badder than ever.

coat throw

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The Essential Potential http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/the-essential-potential/ http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/the-essential-potential/#respond Thu, 19 May 2016 11:15:46 +0000 http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/?p=5562 If any of us have ever had an opportunity to touch a moisturized toe inside of an aircraft, we know that traveling at times can be cumbersome and pretty freakin’ stressful. From rude staff, crowded airports, delays, awkward run-ins with that creepy dude you never hoped to see again, turbulence, screaming infants who probably work for Satan to sick neighbors who pretend they’ve never heard of goddamn Kleenex–the list could go as long as Naomi Campbell’s legs to almost make you never want to book a flight again. While most of these situations unfortunately cannot be avoided, what can be controlled is one of the most crucial points leading up to this process and make our vodka filled lives slightly easier: PACKING. First thing’s first: P A C K   L I G H T As possible. The last thing you want is being delayed to the turn up, some […]

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If any of us have ever had an opportunity to touch a moisturized toe inside of an aircraft, we know that traveling at times can be cumbersome and pretty freakin’ stressful. From rude staff, crowded airports, delays, awkward run-ins with that creepy dude you never hoped to see again, turbulence, screaming infants who probably work for Satan to sick neighbors who pretend they’ve never heard of goddamn Kleenex–the list could go as long as Naomi Campbell’s legs to almost make you never want to book a flight again.

f this im out

While most of these situations unfortunately cannot be avoided, what can be controlled is one of the most crucial points leading up to this process and make our vodka filled lives slightly easier: PACKING.

AIRPORT

First thing’s first:

P A C K   L I G H T

As possible. The last thing you want is being delayed to the turn up, some extra zzz’s, or work because some basic lost your luggage during check-in. Try your hand at a carry-on, preferably with wheels–price around for a reasonable one and be sure to make sure size meets airline’s required for bringing upon the plane. In addition, most allow and extra bag such as a purse or small duffel for entertainment purposes.

Roll it up

rolling

Line bottom of luggage with a pillow case to use later as a dirty clothes hamper and then get to rolling–everything. Easiest is keeping planned outfits together and roll tighter than Jocelyn Wildenstein’s face. Stack and repeat–you’ll be surprised at how many articles of clothing you can cram just by doing this method.

Keep Cords, Chargers, and Jewelry in One Place

Get creative and resourceful. Use extra/old sunglasses cases for storage, those random gift bags with your free purchase of those extra drawers you didn’t need from Victoria Secret but they were extra 20% off, even ziplock bags or pill cases. The more organized, the better it is to find.

Side note: For someone always on the go, forget Taylor and Daniel and make an external charger your best friend. Light, ranging anywhere from $10-100: they’re the perfect companion for long days out.

3oz Rule

When doing carry-on for any liquids–including face wash, moisturizer, hair spray, etc.–it’s essential to pack only 3oz sized bottles and fit them all into one quart sized Ziplock bag. Choose items wisely.

Stock up on travel size anything and don’t forget the skin care. Traveling tends to dehydrate the skin–stay hydrated and throw in an extra moisture barrier like hyaluronic acid.

ID, Paper ID, Passport

Because duh.

MONEY AND GERMS RULE THE WORLD

Just ask the asshole next to you who just sneezed without covering their mouth and wipes their face with their hands, only later to try to assist with handing you your rum and Coke. Stay prepared–cash, cards, and hand sanitizer don’t get left behind.

THE ENTERTAINMENT

electronics

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your other best friend besides an external charger? Nathaniel Baldwin, creator of the greatest invention since alcohol, HEADPHONES.

Blur out the noise around you with countless playlists, movies, books, magazines, puzzles, news app–tune out and enjoy.

The Other Other Best Friends

Eye drops, Advil in case shit gets mad real, sunglasses, tampons/pads, lip balm, and vitamins.

 

Comfort first-flat shoes, SOCKS (because strolling through security barefoot at LaGuardia is not cute), neck pillow, and a sweater/jacket.

And most important to pack, HAVE FUN! Accept the things you can’t change, and don’t stress about the rest!

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Hello, it’s Vodka http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/hello-its-vodka/ http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/hello-its-vodka/#comments Fri, 06 May 2016 11:18:22 +0000 http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/?p=5484 HELLO. IT’S ME. I WAS WONDERING IF AFTER THIS PAST YEAR AND HALF OF FULLY RUNNING MY BLOG YOU’D LIKE TO MEET TO DISCUSS WHAT A STEAMING TRAINWRECK I AM. Okay, so now that I have that lyrical remix out of my system because I just HAD to go there, all spin offs and Lowe’s leaf blowers aside it’s been quite some time since I’ve actively run my blog. Initially wanting this to be my comeback post of sorts, I had to set this one aside to pay respect to the unexpected passing of the late and always great Prince Rogers Nelson. And to be completely honest, I was in no rush to make this post. Clearly. As a writer, it’s 110% important to stand in your story and own your truth. Write what you know, write what you feel, and go from there. With that being said, most times that […]

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HELLO.

IT’S ME.

I WAS WONDERING IF AFTER THIS PAST YEAR AND HALF OF FULLY RUNNING MY BLOG YOU’D LIKE TO MEET

TO DISCUSS WHAT A STEAMING TRAINWRECK I AM.

Okay, so now that I have that lyrical remix out of my system because I just HAD to go there, all spin offs and Lowe’s leaf blowers aside it’s been quite some time since I’ve actively run my blog. Initially wanting this to be my comeback post of sorts, I had to set this one aside to pay respect to the unexpected passing of the late and always great Prince Rogers Nelson. And to be completely honest, I was in no rush to make this post. Clearly.

As a writer, it’s 110% important to stand in your story and own your truth. Write what you know, write what you feel, and go from there. With that being said, most times that is never an easy route to take.

Personally for me, I struggle on the regular 24 to open up and while there is truth in my writing, I like to keep things light and on the comedic side. Sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps me sane. The most honest, GIFless, stripped down post I’ve ever published was coincidentally around this time two years ago in discussing Mother’s Day and my journey with my own mother and the woman throughout my years who have influenced and in some ways, filled her absence in our uneasy past. While the feedback was positive even with my mother herself, I’ve since removed the post without any real reason simply besides the fact it was too honest within myself. And it scared me.

And currently as I sit in this moment, I’m scared once again. Vulnerable is a foreign territory, but treading on here we go.

Quickly flashing back to Summer 2014 and the rearing of the cackling bitch that is life and her challenges–completely overworked and underpaid at a place I couldn’t thrive, broken from a whirlwind relationship with someone whom in the end did his very England best to hurt me, and watching the man who raised me teeter on life and death in his battle with cancer–I found myself burned out and lower than a cell phone signal at Coachella. And unfortunately, my passion for creativity fell along with it. Stepping back and taking control, I grabbed the reigns and cut contacts, owned responsibility, and started new in every way I could. New address, new attitude–voicing my needs more on the job, soaking in moments I had left with my family and said yes to new adventures. Basically taking time to reroute, recharge, and live my life like an unaired episode of The Hills, except with more black people and lower bank accounts.

By last year, I was in a better mindset, family environment, relationship, work situation and officially ready to get back into my writing, only this time branching out to build something greater with help of others. Which in short, WAS THE WORST DECISION I’VE EVER MADE IN MY CREATIVE CAREER. Moral of the story: You want something done, do it yourself.  Get your ass on YouTube, research books and all else fails–Google–she’s free, fabulous and open 24/7.

Completely devastated on the fact of starting over in sorts, I battled longer than I should on scrapping the entire idea of what I’d built and going fresh. Which basically got No’s across the board. What I failed to see even when my friends were on the verge of picketing and my boyfriend was texting me at 1:32am at how much he missed my blog name and hated the new concept was that I am Vodka & Cupcakes. I’m the 26-year-old loud mouthed weirdo who randomly decided drunk on Halloween weekend 3 years ago to start a blog because she was too poor to go out and needed a space to vent. Because 140 characters aren’t enough. Almost needless to say, it was a good run while it lasted. R.I.P., The Modish Chaos.

By closing of 2015, while the decision to stay was made, the creative juices weren’t flowing. The ideas were there, the drive was not. Once again, life won points and as much as I tried to stay positive through the death of my aunt and other losses discussable in various forms, I was winning a losing battle. The worst of all, I lost my mind. Which honestly isn’t uncommon particularly for someone who likes to be creative. If I’m not writing, drawing, failing miserably at art–MAKING SOMETHING–I am catshit crazier than Charlie Sheen at a bathhouse.

And while an earlier comeback would have been ideal, the timing was not right. There’s nothing worse than walking in somewhere with something to say that makes no sense or worse, from a cruel and negative place. No freaking bueno–sit on your hands and think again.

drag

After lots of counseling, acceptance, Kleenex, forgiveness, love, and private creativity I can genuinely look back at say roughly the past 545 days has been a journey I wouldn’t trade a piece of. Your story makes you who you are, make it a damn good one. Make peace with the situations and trolls you cannot change, and focus on the rest. Love the people who stayed and legitimately supported you when your life was like one of those late night Zoloft commercials. Sometimes you need to die a little before you can learn to live a lot. I don’t know who said that last quote, so if someone asks just say it was me.

All jokes aside, it feels great to be in a place of self-awareness, to laugh and not hearing it as someone you don’t recognize, and of course, to be creating again. As far as this blog goes it’s almost comical and full circle that it took the death of someone who had such an initial impact on everything I produce to spark a fire under my DSW clearance shoes.

Summary is this: Life gives its’ biggest challenges to the best soldiers. It’s okay to have bad days, bad weeks, even bad years.

The key is to never to stay there.

 

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Class In Session: 11 Lessons We’ve Learned From Prince http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/class-in-session-things-weve-learned-from-prince/ http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/class-in-session-things-weve-learned-from-prince/#comments Fri, 22 Apr 2016 17:06:08 +0000 http://www.vodkaandcupcakes.com/?p=5889 Growing up, everyone has a story on music or films or series that they connected with early on and staked their way forever into their hearts for one reason or another. For me, those hands down Top 3 are The Lost Boys, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Purple Rain. Being raised by two parents heavy in working the club scene I was about five years old when I really remember being introduced to the world that was style, sexuality, tragedy, and glamour aka Prince Rogers Nelson–and I couldn’t get enough. From the moment that silhouette faded into the screen behind those fabulous purple letters PURPLE RAIN sprawled across calling attention to all that is dearly beloved, I was hooked. Religiously watching the story of the creative tortured underdog, I eventually wanted to know more about this magical man who captivated my heart at such an early age, so I quizzed my parents […]

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PRINCE

Growing up, everyone has a story on music or films or series that they connected with early on and staked their way forever into their hearts for one reason or another. For me, those hands down Top 3 are The Lost Boys, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Purple Rain. Being raised by two parents heavy in working the club scene I was about five years old when I really remember being introduced to the world that was style, sexuality, tragedy, and glamour aka Prince Rogers Nelson–and I couldn’t get enough. From the moment that silhouette faded into the screen behind those fabulous purple letters PURPLE RAIN sprawled across calling attention to all that is dearly beloved, I was hooked.

Religiously watching the story of the creative tortured underdog, I eventually wanted to know more about this magical man who captivated my heart at such an early age, so I quizzed my parents on everything they knew about Prince. Was this story true? Where is Minnesota and when are we going? What’s eyeliner and where can I buy some? When am I getting a guitar? If my birthday is 10 days after his, does this mean we’re soul mates? What’s a Gemini?

By the time I was around 7, I was bit hard by the writing bug, heavily into my white balloon covered notebook scribbling every thought, fear, or idea that came to mind with the sounds of my dad’s vinyl record player blaring in the background. It became my favorite pastime and something I looked forward to every weekend when visiting him, and upon my arrival he always knew to put on your purple majesty.

Kids always play games, especially growing up opposite the rich side of the tracks you had to make your own fun. Ours was Prince and the Revolution, grabbing mops and brooms and swaying fast to the instrumental sounds of air and terrible adolescent voices. It was a known fact amongst my group of cousins and friends that I, was always Prince. The kid of my mother’s friend that randomly joined one afternoon didn’t get that memo, shoving me to the side shouting that I couldn’t be Prince because I was a girl, therefore needing to step to the left or right to play either Lisa or Wendy. Let’s just say that young man still may have a knot upside his head in shape of a broom stick and I was grounded the remaining summer. And I definitely played Prince that day.

And when it comes to The Artist, most of us have these stories. Where we were, what pulled us in, what inspired us on, what turned us on, what brought us down, and what pulled us through. Most can’t talk music in particular without mentioning his name. This realization was more than apparent upon breaking news yesterday that Prince Rogers Nelson passed away at the age of just 57. Almost needless to say, I needed a moment. I needed more than a few. I’ve definitely been sad in the past of some celebrity deaths, but this one hit me like a ton of purple bricks and I ugly cried as if a close family member died. An immense part of my childhood, my adulthood, my creative drive–felt ripped to pieces. Eventually pulling myself  and my eyeliner together, I of course had to take to social media and the response to Prince’s death was surprisingly soothing–reading all the impactful stories and seeing so much footage and never before seen photographs. The man was beyond legendary. And shouts to MTV for going MTV playing music videos again and taking a break from Teen Shore whatever.

And stories aside, most of us were given lessons. Let’s talk things we’ve learned from Mr. Nelson.

STAY READY AND YOU WON’T HAVE TO GET READYphair

This goes beyond garments, hair and makeup. Stay prepared–save your money. Write even if you plan on no one reading it. Play to an empty room, practice makes perfect. Tell jokes in the mirror with a candlestick to build confidence. Practice makes perfection.

IF YOU’RE GOING TO COME IN HEELS, COME CORRECT

pwalk

Prince was the only man who could and probably only can rock six-inch stilettos with confidence and still snatch somebody’s woman. If you find yourself in some pumps, own it, and own it well.

SASSY, ALWAYS CLASSY

PSIS

OWN YOUR SEXY

PSEY

BE READY TO BUST A MOVE

pdance

SAY NO TO THE BULL

PNO

Drama? Fuckboys? Phony friends? New Avril Lavinge? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

WARDROBE READY

PWALK2

Down to a fresh tee and jeans or a paper bag, you better rock.

SLAY SHADE

pshade

Shade is a true art form.

BE UNAPOLOGETIC

PPLAYED

No one runs your life but you, and there’s no one else like you. Embrace it and stand in your self. Not everyone will get it, but not everyone matters, at least not to your story. Their character belongs to another script.

STAY AWARE

PLOOK

Prince was a known advocate for social awareness and has gone on record that the only television he’s watched as of late has been the news and New Girl. Stay in the know. Read the paper, read a book, watch news clips online, or keep an app. Learn a new language, get out and meet someone totally opposite from yourself. That’s the only way you grow.

NEVER BE AFRAID TO TAKE RISKS

PHOOP

Take creative risks. Travel to a new city you’ve always wanted to visit–no one else can make it?–visit alone. Take career risks. Risks that will mean something. This doesn’t mean going buck wild raw on a Friday night in Playa del Carmen with the first crispy fried bachelor/bachelorette attendee you stumble upon.

PFACEWith all that being said, I end with a thank you. Thank you for the music, the filmography, the quotes, the outfits, the ever-changing hair, the knowledge, the confidence, and of course, the shade. It’s only been a solid 24 hours since the news, but the Prince will live on forever in our hearts and in our ears.

PRINCE ROGERS NELSON           JUNE 7 1958-APRIL 21 2016

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