Cuffing Season Is Here

cuffing season

Ready or not, here it comes!

Cuffing Season: During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship.

So, if you still aren’t aware of what exactly is “Cuffing Season” or what are the signs of this Fall phenomenon allow me to break this down.

A gang of your friends are getting engaged and married. Lots of them. Some of which you didn’t even know were in a relationship to begin with.surprised2

Your friends are getting boyfriends. Serious boyfriends.

take care of her

“Hey stranger”,
Happy Holidays” texts start to roll in.

b please2

Reality Check: They don’t give a damn about your holiday or whether or not Santa broke you off because you didn’t cut a bitch this year were good.

You’re moodier than normal

thought of love throw up

You’re almost to the point where you want to escape to a convent and give up on relationships forever. Potentials come and you don’t even try.

Old you.

Old you.

New you.

New you.

Randos pop up in your inbox.

You don’t hang out with this person. You don’t talk to this person on the regular. You only added them on social media because you worked together as teens or had a brief bond over a show discussion in class or had a mutual friend. Suddenly, they come out of nowhere and want to have private discussions about your life and why you two should talk or hang out more often.

its been forever

Your guy friend that has had a mild crush on you starts acting weird as shit.

creep boy 1creep boy 2

Hey. You know that dude you’ve had that stupid crush on for what seems like forever?

You know the one. You like him, he likes you, you hang out out all the time and thinks you’re awesome but has first world problems like “trust issues” and “no time for a serious relationship”.

Yeah….he has a girlfriend now.

no no noNow you officially know how those little kids on those talent shows feel like.rejected09c25ca6f4f1bca5c335e1c53f126b59you vs me

Some of your guy friends start settling for any ole thing.

useless and unattractive

Your family starts nudging your uterus and your ring finger causing you to bring your bitch claws out.

i dont like boysi dont like boys2

Your ex is suddenly around more and they’re being friendly. Extremely friendly.

nod fail

And because of that, your friends/family start checking in with you more and making sure you aren’t getting TOO friendly with your ex.

remove friend

You start getting aggressive voicemails from would-be potentials.

booty call

Even you yourself feel weird and slightly coming down with a case of walking pneumonia for thinking of silly things like marriage in a more heavy rotation. Only with James Franco, though.

hey cute boyBtw, if you haven’t seen the EPIC video of James and Seth Rogan mocking the new Kimye video–stop everything and laugh now.

Cuffing Season: Hang in there, it’ll be over soon.

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