Category Archives: Love & Relationships

New Year, Same Disaster

January 5th, 2015

Okay.

So this is the part where I come in and am all like SURPRISE Y’ALL, I’M BAAAACCCCKKKKK!!

winner2

And with a sassy awesome new layout–HOLLA!

Then I twirl into some crazy lengthy story about like a stint in rehab, or a cute picture of a newborn, or a four month trip to Europe or a secret wedding….but it’s officially a new year, and I’m still the same little mess I left 2014 out of.

i drink too much i drink too much2

 

 

 

 

 

foodAnd while it was hands down the craziest 365 days of my current entire being, it was the most entertaining, most educating, emotional and thought provoking year. And I wouldn’t change a thing.

Well, except writing more blog posts.

Besides that MAJOR screw up, 2014 was a learning year, and when I didn’t have a drink in my hand, I definitely took notes.

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Breaking Up To Break It Down

September 15th, 2014

Overall when it comes to reading advice on being forever alone single, dealing with men and dating/relationship advice, it normally goes in one little drunken ear and out the other.

dont careWhich the fact that I don’t pay much attention to any of these is most likely my problem today.

im the only single im the only single2

I just prefer to let life be the real teacher. Nothing can teach you like the experience of your own. And from random conversations with that one aunt.

gtf over it and move onWhile being told that wearing more camisoles and brightly colored cardigans will make you appear more friendly and less intimidating to latch you a man are eyeroll worthy, the advice columns about break-ups are usually the ones that are the fucking worst. Sure, some can be inspiring or thought provoking, but then there are others that troll in with advice like:

EAT YOUR FEELINGS

TAKE MEDICATION

SPILL ALL THE DETAILS OF THE BREAK-UP

TAKE A SUPER WILD TRIP WITH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS

and the goddamn Nickelback worst:

GET UNDER A NEW GUY TO GET OVER THE OLD ONE

new mail4

Now, I almost wish that this person that recently made news read at LEAST that hot mess bundle of advice, because she clearly didn’t read the ones that were for sane people. Let’s just call her….Felicia.

ex bf calls

WTF

WHET

FELICIA. GURL.

That’s 121,669 shades of NO DAMN MA’AM. In a span of seven days.

You should call NO ONE 77,639 times in one week. NOT. ONE. SOUL. Not work related people, not your mama, not your amazing sibling, not Jake from State Farm, not your best friend from childhood, not Tyrone, not your fabulous friend that gets even more fabulous after they’ve have a few cocktails, not the pizza place, not even on Jesus. He has enough on his plate, sis.

jesusClearly you never read a break up tip post-it let alone an actual column, or owned an Beyonce‘ album, or had a heart to heart with someone or been forced to watch He’s Just Not That Into You with a girlfriend on a drunken Saturday night.

So, thanks for the inspiration on breaking this down, and this is for you Felicia.

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Throwback Tales: Welcome To The Dark Side: Part 3

February 14th, 2014

From the start of what turned out to be a crazy ride into the world of online dating—from creeps to plain ole NOs to “Hell Night” with Zac Efron to the too much too soon headache that was wine guy, all seemed worth it in the end by the time I finally met my new friend in person.

We chose to meet up at a bar/dance hall where upon my arrival I was greeted with a huge hug and then taken by the hand to pay my entry in and then to the bar for a drink.swoonMy new friend was already established as a good looking guy from his profile and talking online, but none of that did him justice compared to what he was in person. From his Midwestern accent to his bright Hazel eyes to his quick wit responses and sense of humor that scarily seemed to match mine it was safe to say I was smitten kittens. Shit: I was becoming. THAT. GIRL.

After talking about each other’s week and a quick dance we then went to meet outside with the friends of my new friend, where I was jokingly introduced as his girlfriend. It was funny, hopefully one day reigning to be true, and cute—mostly because I knew he was joking. If someone like wine guy had did it, it would have been creepy because trust he’d mean every bit of that shit.

old creep stare

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Throwback Tales: Welcome To The Dark Side: Part 2

January 16th, 2014

So a few weeks ago, I began to share the time of this past summer when I gave into the thought of trying online dating.

Almost a full week into it I’d ran across some party boys, a guy I used to be involved with, a guy who claimed I was his new B.F.F., a guy that looked like Glenn Close, guys who clearly weren’t schooled on proper pictures to use for a dating site (like really who are the chicks in your photo, sir) and a few other bunches of HELL NO.

lesbianRight when I was ready to back out of my decision of joining this online catastrophe I ended up connecting and chatting with a guy that had a mutual friend in common with me. My new friend was funny, sweet, never ran out of things to talk about with me and I genuinely began to look forward to hopping on and learning more about him and he seemed to feel the same. Could it be…..my luck was changing?!

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Throwback Tales: Welcome To The Dark Side: Part 1.

December 26th, 2013

At least once a month I like to throw in something I created on Throwback Thursday called “Throwback Tales”, which goes back in time to something ridiculous I’ve experience so we can all sit and laugh at what a fool how interesting life can be at times.

Considering this is the last Thursday of 2013, I saved this particular tale and something that happened this summer’s end for last. It definitely isn’t the most outrageous incident that has happened, but it inspired three parts of Throwback Tales and it’s something I said I would never, ever, ever do.

TRY ONLINE DATING.

d1040bad2e5684c6117a61f6a6336c58But after being pressured from friends and family members probably secretly browsing through brochures to throw me into a convent, I gave into the idea for over an entire month. And lived to blog about it.

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