Bye, Ashy!: The Power of Packing Up & Moving On

It’s 3am and your house looks like a mash-up between a crack house, a clubhouse and a like a club was just thrown in your house, free cover charge. Between boxes, tossed supplies, broken hangers, beer bottles, pizza boxes and your cousin sleeping on the blanketed floor because they couldn’t hang anymore, you can’t even begin to find your thoughts. Best guess? It’s probably out with the rest of life left to pack, which you now have less than T-minus five hours complete. Ugh. Crunch time begins.

The sweater you yelled at your greasy step-aunt Margaret was “so cool” twelve years ago only to shove into the deepest depths of your closet? Goodwill it.

The pot you scorched in your first apartment while trying to simmer chicken like Emeril Lagasse only to almost set your stove on fire? Toss it.

The dusty yoga mat that was for sure going to get your sexy back only to be used as a walk pad for your laundry room? Clean. And pass to your yogi friend.

Oh, the framed picture of your ex and you still hidden in your nightstand to occasionally stare at to smile of the traveling times together before you found out they were a

flaming piece of

unsavory child of God

spawn of el Spanish Diablo


–just…..trash it. Actually, keep the frame. It’s cute. And it was also $19.95. We can throw away our ex, but we don’t throw away Jackson’s. The next few hours of picture tossing, cardboard paper cuts, vacuuming and locking up are  a blur until you suddenly find yourself crammed in a sedan full of even more boxes and staring at a UHaul. At this point you’re too tired to care, but you scarf down your McDonald’s platter anyways. Somewhere between a nap, sketchy gas stations and a rocky road that wakes you up in fear that your tires are going to pop only to leave you stranded on Tobacco Rd somewhere to be eaten by those Hills Have Eyes people, you arrive to your destination. It’s smaller in person, but again you’re too tired to care and just want to get unpacked. Upon unboxing your bathroom and seeing all your clothes hung up, suddenly it hits.

I moved. I, the person who was always secretly scared to do anything major, MOVED. Like, moved, moved. It’s more serious when you add that extra word in, right? Right, across the state lines moved. And suddenly, the urge to call your mother or someone else with more sense than you has never felt so urgent. WHY did you let me leave?! Why did you think I was competent enough to pull this off?! Talk about a little fish in a huge pond. The moment you step foot back out the door and find yourself scrambling for Siri’s help, it’s official.

Welcome to the new world.

Continue Reading


Lesson 2016

Depression doesn’t win, you do.

Spend time with your siblings.

Spend time with your other family and friends, you never know when it’s the last you’ll see them.

Death proved time and time again it doesn’t give a shit who you are, how old you are, where you are or how much fame or fortune you have–you’re going.

Mimosas are fun.

Just because they’re “family”, doesn’t mean you have to like them.

It’s okay to say no and stand in your beliefs. You stand in it everyday.

Read. Learn. Repeat. Forever.

That city you’ve been wanting to go to? Go. Plan accordingly, and wait for no one else to do so.

Take pictures, for no good reason.

Fun never stops being a road trip away.

They’ll never be another musician like Prince or Bowie.

Don’t date a musician. Just….don’t.

Closed doors eventually route you to a world beyond your fears.

Which speaking of, fuck your fears. You’re bigger than those.

Work doesn’t work unless you do.

Beyonce’ + concert=Everything.

With Google and YouTube, there is no excuse to be dumb.

There is no expiration date on college.

Did I mention never stop taking photos? Or collecting them.

Applying for a job is a full-time one.

Turning 30 is not that big of a deal. But kind of is. Those things you still basically have, not just want to do, NOW is the time. You won’t turn into dust if you don’t, but no time like when you still have all your teeth and mostly good sense.

When it comes to birthdays, sometimes simple is better.

Perfect your hobbies.

Whiskey is never is good idea when your ex is around.

Some friends are only ones when it’s convenient. Ditch them.

Has anyone figured out how to turn off Facebook Live yet?

If getting one year older hasn’t lit a fire under your ass, maybe being almost caught in the crossfire of one will. One day short of being in a mass shooting tends to do that.

Continue Reading


Living It Up Like Gloria Gaynor: Surviving A Layoff

surviving layoff

So, regardless of what slice of the universe you are currently living in, by this point you are on high alert that the world is one giant cluster and more chaos going on than a Limp Bizkit record.

With so much real happening, one reality many are living is that of unemployment and the increasing case of job layoffs, currently at a mature 4.9 percent, according to the U.S Bureau of Labor Statistics, at its’ highest in the last 7 years as of July 2016.

computer news

The struggle is legitimate.

Unfortunately, if you know someone who has become an inhaling statistic or equally worse, have become one yourself, then the following guidelines are a probable necessity.

Continue Reading


Hello, it’s Vodka





Okay, so now that I have that lyrical remix out of my system because I just HAD to go there, all spin offs and Lowe’s leaf blowers aside it’s been quite some time since I’ve actively run my blog. Initially wanting this to be my comeback post of sorts, I had to set this one aside to pay respect to the unexpected passing of the late and always great Prince Rogers Nelson. And to be completely honest, I was in no rush to make this post. Clearly.

As a writer, it’s 110% important to stand in your story and own your truth. Write what you know, write what you feel, and go from there. With that being said, most times that is never an easy route to take.

Personally for me, I struggle on the regular 24 to open up and while there is truth in my writing, I like to keep things light and on the comedic side. Sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps me sane. The most honest, GIFless, stripped down post I’ve ever published was coincidentally around this time two years ago in discussing Mother’s Day and my journey with my own mother and the woman throughout my years who have influenced and in some ways, filled her absence in our uneasy past. While the feedback was positive even with my mother herself, I’ve since removed the post without any real reason simply besides the fact it was too honest within myself. And it scared me.

Continue Reading


Yours, Mine & Ours.

/home1/vodkaan2/public html/wp content/uploads/2013/07/VodkaCupcakes 5

This month officially marks one year since I’d finally decided to venture away from home and into a place of my own. And it’s been an incredible experience. I can’t even begin to fully express just how much I and my life in general has changed since I picked up those keys and started a whole new journey that was my own.

Sure, there are some days where the thought of paying bills and being broke again make me want to throw a toddler tantrum when all I really want to do in that moment is to go on a trip or an intense shopping spree or hit the bar with friends and get my Oprah on.

make it rainmake it rain2

Because I like showering, walking in lighted areas, driving a car and keeping up with my dose of trash tv cable I choose on Responsibility Boulevard.

Or at times when my family and I are sitting down and enjoying a meal together and they ask me how’s everything in which I reply with a collected answer instead of unleashing my initial inner feelings.can i come homeGrowing up is tough but in the end it makes you tougher.

fix it bossAnd wiser. And possibly more of a drinker.

Along this new road in my life I’ve been approached by a few friends on teaming together, saving a bit more money and becoming those famous nine lettered words.


Continue Reading



/home1/vodkaan2/public html/wp content/uploads/2013/04/VodkaCupcakes 3

“Bye Felicia”:  When someone says something that you really could give two shits about—their name then becomes “felicia”, a random bitch that nobody is sad to see go. They’re real name becomes irrelevant and instead, they now are “Felicia”.

Everyone has their signature catchphrase that they have or they’re known for. I think I have a few of them but the one I am most known for lately with people that know me is calling out Felicia.

Now everyone seems to do it–because it just works for shit you just don’t have time for. Personally I’ll always have time for Sweet Brown, but the Felicia’s of the world have got to go.


Continue Reading